Dancing with myself

Today, has been one of those days.
The ones where you think about your life. How far you have come and what you have to show for it.
In some aspects I have a lot to show but in others I fall short.
When it comes to a social life, I am lacking greatly. I used to be a social butterfly. I knew so many people but I feel like I retracted. Causing me to now not have as many people to lean on.
My two best friends don't even talk to me as much anymore. That is not their fault at all but I just think they are more interested with hanging out with couples. Like them. I do believe that if I was attached we would hang out much more.
However, I do not see myself as falling short when it comes to having a boyfriend. I may not be dating but a guy shouldn't define my life. People should want to hang with me whether I have a boyfriend or not.
In this town it is hard to find friends if you do not go to normal high school. Especially if you don't want to hang with druggie losers.
I guess I am just flat out complaining that I have nothing to do with my life. I miss some of the people at my old school but I don't miss what most of them were about. I just don't fit in with that scene.
It is partially my fault because I put up this wall with people. And I try not to let them in. Some persevere and break it down but most don't bother. High School is supposed to be the time of your life but I am far from that. Something in my life needs to change but I can't think of what that should be.