Empty Apartment

So, haven't blogged in a long time. Well, like a week but I haven't really had much to say. So I have a feeling this blog will just be me rambling, but isn't that what a blog is? Someone rambling on and on about their life when people really don't care, or read.
So nothing has really changed in my life in the last week. I have been going to school and hanging out with friends and just enjoying the beautiful weather that has been provided to us from the sun.
Washington has been a good 50+ degrees lately and it has been amazing. I've been seeing a psychiatrist which is nice. She helps me with ways to handle my anxiety. She also helps me come to terms about things that I am still mad about that I have been keeping inside. Most of the things I haven't thought about in years really but I still kept it inside and it ate at me for so long. That's why I think this winter when my anxiety got so bad was because my body couldn't take it anymore. There was just so much and I couldn't handle it anymore and I broke. But now I am fixing myself. Picking up the pieces and fitting them back together in the puzzle called life.
I have learned to forgive those that have hurt me in the past. I have not completely gotten passed all of it but I am working on it with therapy and God. He really has changed my life for the better. People wonder why God has let them down but He hasn't, to receive you have to believe and when you believe that means that you know what you pray about you have already received but it hasn't made an appearance in your life yet. You may not get the answer you wanted but in the long run, things work out. People ask why God lets bad things happen to them, but in the end doesn't it just make you stronger? That is the whole point, God sifts us like wheat so that we can show we are truly worth His love. He put himself in flesh form just to be crucified for US! It is so amazing what He has done for us. People ask why there are bad things if God loves us so much, God gave us free will and the materials we need to survive. From there it is us, humans, who chose what we do with those materials. It was not God who came into the Forza coffee shop and shot four officers point blank. It was a hardened man, who did not know God, he made a choice to take something that man made and kill those innocent officers. That was his choice and in a sick twisted way the tragedy brought people closer to God and closer together. We have learned from these mistakes and all we can do is pray that their souls are saved. Someone once said you can not have good without bad but you can have bad without good. I believe in that to the fullest. Sin is our nature and that is where the world turns into a not so pretty place. I am not trying to push this thinking on anyone but I do want everyone to know how amazing He is. If you just let Him in and overwhelm your life, you will not be sorry. At one point in time I thought that God was just something we all made up in our minds but I see the light now. And if I could still believe after what I have been through I know that anyone can believe. Give it a chance. He loves you. He really does.
"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek Him." Hebrews 11:6