Dancing with myself

Today, has been one of those days.
The ones where you think about your life. How far you have come and what you have to show for it.
In some aspects I have a lot to show but in others I fall short.
When it comes to a social life, I am lacking greatly. I used to be a social butterfly. I knew so many people but I feel like I retracted. Causing me to now not have as many people to lean on.
My two best friends don't even talk to me as much anymore. That is not their fault at all but I just think they are more interested with hanging out with couples. Like them. I do believe that if I was attached we would hang out much more.
However, I do not see myself as falling short when it comes to having a boyfriend. I may not be dating but a guy shouldn't define my life. People should want to hang with me whether I have a boyfriend or not.
In this town it is hard to find friends if you do not go to normal high school. Especially if you don't want to hang with druggie losers.
I guess I am just flat out complaining that I have nothing to do with my life. I miss some of the people at my old school but I don't miss what most of them were about. I just don't fit in with that scene.
It is partially my fault because I put up this wall with people. And I try not to let them in. Some persevere and break it down but most don't bother. High School is supposed to be the time of your life but I am far from that. Something in my life needs to change but I can't think of what that should be.

Good morning beautiful.

Another morning with nothing to do until work.

So my life story, here it is in a nut shell.

I was born October 18, 1992 in Seattle, WA. A week later than expected.

My mom and dad were not married and by the time I was two they had split.

Until I was four I still saw my dad consistently. Due to circumstances between my

Mom and Dad, the contact with him was cut off and I did not talk to him again

until I was 13. When I was four and lived in some apartments in a bad neighborhood,

I experienced something no child or adult should have to. Nothing much happened until

I was in the sixth grade. That was the year that I had transitional PTSD and anxiety.

I missed 87 consecutive days of school. I would not come out of my room and for

certain reasons my mom didn't say anything to me, or even really notice how sad I was.

Finally, my Mom realized something was wrong and got me help. I still finished the sixth grade without having to go to summer school.

Again, nothing really happened again until my freshman year at Washington High School.

I had found out about this school in another district called Tacoma School of the Arts. It

was everything I ever dreamed of in a school. Me, and four other students from Washington

tried out. All of us but one got in. That made me sad because the one the did not get in was really close to me. And I felt really bad. When my sophomore year started at SOTA I was so excited. I

majored in vocal music and made it into the top choir. However, I learned quickly that it was not

all it was cracked up to be. I would leave my house at 6:30 AM and not be home until 6:00 PM. That only gave me just a few short hours to do eight classes worth of homework, eat dinner, shower, and get ready for the next day. I just could not do it.

It was too hard on me so half way through my junior year I switched to the alternative school

I currently go to.

New Pathways. It is a really good choice for me and I will be starting Pierce college soon. I am

also excited for that.

I know I left out alot of details but then this would be so much longer. I'm sure things will come up very often that'll reflect on what happened in my life so far.

I'll keep blogging if you keep reading :)